


Partners in Crime

by selenehekate



Series: My Next-Gen Head Canon [15]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 15:17:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17185427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selenehekate/pseuds/selenehekate
Summary: James and Lorcan have had each other's backs throughout the years, and they always will... no matter what hare-brained schemes they try to execute! Oneshot





	Partners in Crime

**Author's Note:**

> The final section of this story takes place in November 2021

_Partners in Crime_

_First Year_

"So..." James said with a small nod. He and Lorcan were sitting on the floor outside of Headmistress McGonagall's office, waiting to be called into the room. She was in there with Professor Longbottom, the head of the Gryffindor house, and Professor Drake, the brand new head of Slytherin.

Lorcan removed the bloody towel away from his nose. "So."

"Sorry about that," James said, gesturing towards the towel. "I didn't think the spell would ricochet off of the staircase. I didn't mean to hit you."

"Yeah, well that's what you get for trying to curse a  _third year_ ," Lorcan said with a roll of his eyes.

"Hey, he called me a little ponce!"

"Mate, he's already had dueling lessons! We barely know how to levitate a  _feather_ ," he pointed out.

"Yeah, well... He was a Slytherin. He had it coming," James argued with a small smile. "And you know what? I'm going to take him down one day. Don't know when, but I will."

"If you say so."

"What  _really_  peeves me, though, is that we got  _caught_." James shook his head before turning to look at his friend. "How could we have gotten caught? That's so  _stupid_ of us."

"Us?" Lorcan asked with a raised brow. "Since when was I involved in this?"

"Since I've deemed you my partner in crime," James said with a grin. "You and I are going to turn this school upside down."

"I'm not attacking Evan Riley," Lorcan said seriously, referring to the third year James had tried to curse.

"I'm not asking you to," he said, leaning closer to his friend. "All I want is to know if you want to help me take over Hogwarts without getting caught. You in?"

Lorcan sighed, but shrugged his shoulders anyway. "I'm in."

* * *

_Second Year_

"You  _blew up_  a toilet?" Professor McGonagall asked with a shake of her head.

"So much for not getting caught," Lorcan muttered to James.

"Hey, if you hadn't run out of the bathroom when the pipes burst-"

"Silence!" the headmistress interrupted, a glare on her face. "You two are both  _Gryffindors_. You come from  _my house_. And this sort of childish behavior will  _not_  be tolerated! Is that clear?"

"It was just a joke, Professor," James pled. "Honestly, we didn't think we'd flood the entire third floor-"

"That's enough, Mr. Potter," she snapped. Wearily, she sank down into her office chair and reached for some parchment. "You two cause chaos the likes of which this school hasn't seen in  _years_. You're only second years, and yet you're like miniature versions of Fred and George Weasley."

James brightened. "My uncle? Oh, he'll love to hear this-"

"Detention," McGonagall said, raising her voice, "for two weeks each." A slight, twisted smile slid onto her face as James' stomach sank. "Since you two love the lavatories so much, how would you like to clean them every night?"

* * *

_Third Year_

"Why did I go along with this?" Lorcan groaned quietly from behind a woven tapestry.

"Shh," James hushed. "He'll hear you."

Lorcan opened his mouth to respond but it was quickly covered by James' hand. From out in the hallway, loud, stomping footsteps echoed. The two boys unconsciously shrank back against the wall as the angry sounds moved past them. It was only after they had slowly faded away that James removed his hand. "I can't believe you turned Evan Riley's hair  _pink_ ," Lorcan said at last.

"It was payback for my first year," James said with a grin. He leaned back against the wall and casually crossed his arms over his chest. "He deserved it."

Lorcan shook his head. "Merlin, when you hold a grudge, you hold a  _grudge_."

"That's hardly a bad thing."

"And why did you drag me along?"

"Well, I needed a lookout, obviously," James said with a roll of his eyes. Slowly, he peeked out from behind the tapestry.

"Riley is going to  _kill_  you if he ever finds out that you're the one who turned his hair pink, James," he said seriously as his friend pulled the tapestry back and stepped out into the corridor.

"But he's not going to find out, is he? No," James said cheerfully, "there were no witnesses." He gave Lorcan a wink. "We didn't get caught."

* * *

_Fourth Year_

"You painted the castle in rainbow colors?" McGonagall said, her head in her hands.

"We did?" James said, looking to Lorcan with raised eyebrows. "Lorcan, do you remember doing such a thing?"

"Why, no. No I don't," he replied. A slight glint of amusement was present in his eyes, however, as he answered his best friend.

"Every single stone block of this castle is now in one of seven various rainbow hues," she muttered, still not looking at the two in front of her.

"I've noticed," James said cheerfully.

"Your office is a very lovely shade of blue, Professor," Lorcan added.

"The Slytherin common room is red and  _gold_ ," she said with a glare, finally meeting their gazes.

James and Lorcan couldn't resist exchanging gleeful glances. "Really? Oh, I'd love to see the faces of those Slytherins."

"They must be right upset," James snickered.

"Now you two listen here-"

"Professor, unless you have any proof that Lorcan and I did this... inconvenient and yet hilarious thing, I'm afraid I'm going to have to claim ignorance. Right, Lorcan?"

"Agreed," the Gryffindor boy said with a small grin.

McGonagall just stared, her eyes narrowed, before she sighed and leaned back in her chair. "And to think," she murmured to herself, "you're only fourth years." She shooed them out of her office.

* * *

_Fifth Year_

"You two are absolutely mental," Lysander said as he stared at James and his brother late one spring morning.

"No we're not," Lorcan protested with a frown. "We're quite sane, really."

"You want to  _blow up_  the Quidditch pitch!"

"Not the pitch," James corrected. "That would be mad. No, just the stands. And only when no one is there, I promise."

Lysander made a face. "You do realize that still sounds absolutely deranged, right?"

"Well we're going to replace the stands," James said with a roll of his eyes. "We're not daft. But my Uncle taught me this really intricate spell over Christmas-"

"It'll conjure thirteen tons of chocolate," Lorcan explained.

"And we can transfigure the chocolate into chocolate bleachers," James finished with a wicked grin. "So? What do you say? Are you in?"

Lysander shook his head. "I'll leave the door unlocked, but that's it. You two can run through your mad plan all by yourselves."

James, however, just shrugged. "That's why Lorcan and I are partners in crime," he said, giving Lorcan a wink.

* * *

_Sixth Year_

Lorcan and James were pressed up against the double doors leading into the Great Hall, both breathing heavily and squeezing their eyes shut. "Whoa," James muttered in between deep breaths. "That was a close one."

"I'll say," Lorcan responded. "Maybe herding seven unicorns into the Great Hall was a bad idea after all."

"It certainly was challenging," James acknowledged. "Maybe we should have picked a different species."

"Something tamer," Lorcan agreed. Suddenly, the door bucked sharply, causing James' and Lorcan's heads to smack firmly against the door. "They do  _not_  seem happy."

"No, no they don't," he agreed. He gave his friend a sideways glance. "What do you say we lock the door and leave this for someone else to find?"

Lorcan paused before he quickly nodded. "Agreed."

* * *

_Seventh Year_

James walked, alone, into the Hospital Wing in early December. Sitting at the edge of the bed was Lorcan, a large red burn across his forearm. Neither boy said anything for a moment, but instead just stared at each other, contemplating. Then, James spoke. "So you punched out Michael Riley?"

A pause, and then, "Yes," Lorcan grumbled.

"Evan Riley's younger brother?"

"Yes," he said once more.

"Well... I mean, I know  _I_ have a grudge against Evan, but... why were you starting a fight with his  _brother_?" James asked as he sat beside his friend.

"He..." Lorcan trailed off before sighing. "He was talking about how he was going to seduce Dominique this Christmas."

James' eyebrows rose. "Dominique? My  _cousin_ , Dominique?" At Lorcan's nod, James' voice softened. "Dominique, the girl you've had a love-hate relationship with for a few years now?"

"That's the one."

"Well," James said with a slight tilt of his head. "That won't do. That simply won't do at all."

Lorcan blinked, taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"I mean we're going to get him back. Make him pay," James explained. "For your sake as well as for Dominique's."

Lorcan, however, was already shaking his head. "Don't worry about it. It's my problem, okay? I'll take care of it-"

"Absolutely not," James protested with a laugh. "That's not how this works. If you have a problem with Michael Riley, than so do I. We're partners in crime, remember? Both inside and out of the castle. We've got to have each others' backs."

Lorcan shook his head, but a small grin was creeping through on his face as he looked at his best friend. "If you insist. We're partners in crime."

**Author's Note:**

> I found this to be a really fun and entertaining story to write. This was written for the Hogwarts Games: Men's Archery and the Head Canon Boot Camp.
> 
> Transferred from ff.net
> 
> September 2012


End file.
